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communication

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by Viviane on 07/20/2024

in del.icio.us,sex

  • Grab Your Dick and Double Click : Librarian Hot – It should come as no surprise that I really enjoyed the Blue and Lust books, while I wanted to throw the Jensen and Paul books across the room (or out the window, or off of a really big cliff). I do agree with them about a few things: for one, that pornography addiction is real, and it can cause serious damage to relationships (as can, of course, any addiction or compulsive behavior). I also agree that most mainstream porn is indeed extremely misogynistic. But do you know what I find even more demeaning to women? Anti-porn crusaders’ tired gender essentialism arguments.
  • How the Media Should Treat the Sexual Assault Allegations Against Al Gore | The Nation – A handful of feminist blogs, including Feministing, precede me in decrying the media's haste to impugn the credibility of the accuser. As they rightly observe, almost all other media coverage of the story has given the rest of us permission to giggle, when what we really need is a sober dose of reality: that these are credible charges against a very powerful and influential man. It's in our shared interest to take them seriously, evaluate them based on whatever information comes to light and demand answers and accountability.
  • The New Abortion Providers – NYTimes.com – This abortion-rights campaign, led by physicians themselves, is trying to recast doctors, changing them from a weak link of abortion to a strong one. Its leaders have built residency programs and fellowships at university hospitals, with the hope that, eventually, more and more doctors will use their training to bring abortion into their practices. The bold idea at the heart of this effort is to integrate abortion so that it’s a seamless part of health care for women — embraced rather than shunned.
  • For Women, Social Media is More Than "Girl Talk" | Mashable – It turns out that sociolinguists have found women to be innovators when it comes to communication, especially with new forms of languages. … The practical benefits that social media affords, combined with its emotionally fulfilling features make it likely that women will not only continue to engage with social media, but with future related innovations, as well.

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A common assumption is that communicating face-to-face is more persuasive than email. That’s not always true, according to a 2002 study. Researchers found that men are often more responsive to email because it downplays their competitive tendencies. On the other hand, women react better to in-person encounters because they are more relationship-oriented.

These same researchers found that someone will help another person if they feel a high level of “oneness” with the person–that is, the extent to which they indentify with the other person. When the oneness was low between men, email was much more effective. When the oneness was high for women, face-to-face interactions were much better.

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My alumni magazine reports that a UC Davis professor of communications published a book about “applied interpersonal communication,” which here means “flirting and carrying on,” in which he found reasons for why a female “no” sounds like “yes” to many young men.

He notes that when a woman says “it’s getting late” as a way to stop or slow escalation of sexual intimacy, her male partner may hear “let’s speed things up.” The male interprets her indirect communication by imagining what he would mean if he voiced the same words.

In other words, each judges the other by themselves, a common human trait that gets us into all sorts of trouble.

However, when a person is direct (”Stop”), the other person is more likely to get it for what the person means, vs when a person is indirect (”I have a partner”).

More. . .

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