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Vibe Review

I was celibate for 15 years (Salon)

Dec 10th, 2025 by Viviane

By Kit Naylor

Dec. 9, 2008 | I haven’t had sex in 15 years.

I thought I was just taking a break, temporarily climbing off the middle-aged dating roller coaster of hope and despair. I didn’t intend to be celibate for the rest of my life. I just wanted to get some therapy, wanted to understand why I kept choosing men who were smart and funny but critical, sarcastic and merciless like my father. I figured I’d give it a go again later, when I felt stronger, more confident. In a couple of years, say. But here I am — 55 years old, a spinster long past my sell-by date, no kids — and I haven’t had sex in a decade and a half.

It’s my own fault, I know. I’m picky. Casual sex doesn’t do it for me. (I’ve always thought I had to be in love in order to make love.) I regard men with ambivalence, with alternate longing and fear. I’ve grown accustomed to being alone.

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Tags: celibacy

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Posted in celibacy, sex | 1 Comment

One Comment to “I was celibate for 15 years (Salon)”

  1. on 12 Dec 2008 at 3:56 AM1Suzanne Portnoy

    Jeez, this story really annoyed me.

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