From the category archives:

social media

Ever since the early days of the Internet, various web sites have become easy scape goats for sex-negative claims, such as scary stories about how people meet sex partners through the Internet and then bad things happen. However, rarely is the good of the Internet mentioned in this regard.

Do web sites, especially social networking web sites and dating web sites and casual sex sites, make it easier for people to find each other for romantic and/or sexual encounters? Of course they do. And this is often a positive thing for those involved and does not always result in STI transmission.

What people often overlook is that these same sites can also make it easier for public health professionals to track a burgeoning epidemic and stop it before it gets out of hand. Before the Internet, if you were limited to meeting people at bars, you may have known very little about them if you chose to have a casual sexual encounter with them. Maybe you didn’t even know their first or last name or how to get in touch with them.

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As a prosecutor, the first thing I do when I get a case is to Google the victim, the suspect, and all the material witnesses. I run them all through Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, You Tube and see what I might get. I also do a “Google image search” and see what pops up. Sometimes there’s nothing, but other times I get the goods– pictures, status updates, and better yet, blogs and articles they’ve written.

How fantastic is that? A blog written by the suspect about his mind set, plans, or ideas….hmmm….no Fifth Amendment problems here. And it’sa beautiful statement in his own words. It’s all there for the taking and I take it and shove it right down his throat in court.

And let me tell you, I am not alone. I anticipate that the lawyer on the other side will do the same thing, so I prepare my witnesses and victims for it, just as I’m now preparing you. So all you potential litigants, parties to lawsuits, plaintiffs, defendants, victims, and suspects….don’t say I didn’t tell you. You, too, are being watched, searched, Googled and twittered. And that means you, too, counsel!

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. . .In the days of social networks, always-on PDAs, real time tweets and FriendFeed links that update at the speed of light—and are visible to every Looky Lou perusing your account, deleting friends when things cool off can be a highly visible activity (as Xeni Jardin and Violet Blue each discovered when Xeni deleted 60+ posts and comments off her personal blog BoingBoing after the two apparently had a falling out). Therefore, the more politic of us now seem to do what corporate cowards have managed so adroitly for a long time—avoid any dramatic breaks in public contact, but in private, cut the sucker off, perfecting, if you will, the art of being ditched.

Obviously, if you’re dating someone regularly and they stop responding to emails, voicemails, tweets and so on, it’s brush off time for sure, but how about when it’s a more casual relationship, a friendship, or a friends with benefits situation? Can you tell if the person is just busy for the moment, or if you’re truly being ditched?

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Cancel, unsubscribe, unfollow. Sort out how you want to react to the breakup only after you’ve canceled the relationship, unsubscribed from her Tumblr, or blocked him from Twitter. To undo a relationship that made it online in any form—whether you’ve got photos together all over MySpace or earned your own tag on Gawker—requires investing as much shared exposure as you put in. Make a cold calculation: in my case, that meant reframing a year-and-a-half long affair, across half a dozen online networks, and doing it in just a few days. This condenses everything: how much it hurts, how fast you have to react. You had weeks or months to attach to one another’s blogs, profiles, and endearingly staged snapshots. Now you have to delete or address it all, all at once.

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Tancer, general manager of global research at Hitwise, an Internet tracking company, said one of the major shifts in Internet use in the past decade had been the fall off in interest in pornography or adult entertainment sites.

He said surfing for porn had dropped to about 10 percent of searches from 20 percent a decade ago, and the hottest Internet searches now are for social networking sites.

“As social networking traffic has increased, visits to porn sites have decreased,” said Tancer, indicated that the 18-24 year old age group particularly was searching less for porn.

“My theory is that young users spend so much time on social networks that they don’t have time to look at adult sites.”

More . . .

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An article about social networks, but mostly about Twitter – Viv

by Clive Thompson

. . . Social scientists have a name for this sort of incessant online contact. They call it “ambient awareness.” It is, they say, very much like being physically near someone and picking up on his mood through the little things he does — body language, sighs, stray comments — out of the corner of your eye. Facebook is no longer alone in offering this sort of interaction online. In the last year, there has been a boom in tools for “microblogging”: posting frequent tiny updates on what you’re doing. The phenomenon is quite different from what we normally think of as blogging, because a blog post is usually a written piece, sometimes quite long: a statement of opinion, a story, an analysis. But these new updates are something different. They’re far shorter, far more frequent and less carefully considered. One of the most popular new tools is Twitter, a Web site and messaging service that allows its two-million-plus users to broadcast to their friends haiku-length updates — limited to 140 characters, as brief as a mobile-phone text message — on what they’re doing. There are other services for reporting where you’re traveling (Dopplr) or for quickly tossing online a stream of the pictures, videos or Web sites you’re looking at (Tumblr). And there are even tools that give your location. When the new iPhone, with built-in tracking, was introduced in July, one million people began using Loopt, a piece of software that automatically tells all your friends exactly where you are.

. . .This is the paradox of ambient awareness. Each little update — each individual bit of social information — is insignificant on its own, even supremely mundane. But taken together, over time, the little snippets coalesce into a surprisingly sophisticated portrait of your friends’ and family members’ lives, like thousands of dots making a pointillist painting. This was never before possible, because in the real world, no friend would bother to call you up and detail the sandwiches she was eating. The ambient information becomes like “a type of E.S.P.,” as Haley described it to me, an invisible dimension floating over everyday life.

. .. As I interviewed some of the most aggressively social people online — people who follow hundreds or even thousands of others — it became clear that the picture was a little more complex than this question would suggest. Many maintained that their circle of true intimates, their very close friends and family, had not become bigger. Constant online contact had made those ties immeasurably richer, but it hadn’t actually increased the number of them; deep relationships are still predicated on face time, and there are only so many hours in the day for that.

But where their sociality had truly exploded was in their “weak ties” — loose acquaintances, people they knew less well. It might be someone they met at a conference, or someone from high school who recently “friended” them on Facebook, or somebody from last year’s holiday party. In their pre-Internet lives, these sorts of acquaintances would have quickly faded from their attention. But when one of these far-flung people suddenly posts a personal note to your feed, it is essentially a reminder that they exist. I have noticed this effect myself. In the last few months, dozens of old work colleagues I knew from 10 years ago in Toronto have friended me on Facebook, such that I’m now suddenly reading their stray comments and updates and falling into oblique, funny conversations with them. My overall Dunbar number is thus 301: Facebook (254) + Twitter (47), double what it would be without technology. Yet only 20 are family or people I’d consider close friends. The rest are weak ties — maintained via technology.

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sex 20 This weekend: Sex 2.0 in Atlanta

Sex 2.0 will focus on the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality. How is social media enabling people to learn, grow, and connect sexually? How is sexual expression tied to social activism? Does the concept of transparency online offer new opportunities or present new roadblocks — or both? These questions, and many more, will be addressed within a safe, welcoming, sex-positive space.

Respecting the confidentiality and protecting the identities of participants who wish to maintain a degree of anonymity will be a top priority at Sex 2.0.

When? April 12, 2008
Where? 1763~A Deviant Place of Decadence, 1763 Montreal Circle, Tucker, Ga., 30084 (directions)
How much? $50
Registration in advance is mandatory; no walk up registrations will be accepted.

  • Sex 2.0 Web site
  • Sex 2.0 Google Group
  • Sex 2.0 Schedule
  • Sex 2.0 Flickr photo pool
  • Sex 2.0: Sexuality, Feminism, And Waffles (Fleshbot)
  • Cory Silverberg interview with Amber L. Rhea, conference organizer

I’m going to be presenting about a nuts and bolts talk on how to be a sex blogger – a quick tour of key blogs, setting up your first blog, privacy issues, getting the word out about your blog, and working with affiliate accounts.

I’m going to be bookmarking pertinent sites at del.icious: http://del.icio.us/viviane with the Sex2.0 tag.

Twitter: Many of the speakers are on Twitter, and hopefully will be live twitting the conference:

Amber Rhea
Rachel Kramer Bussel
Funky Brown Chick
Cunning Minx
Melissa Gira
Furry Girl
Muse Carmona
jbrotherlove
Ellie Lumpesse
Regina Lynn
Match
Mistress Maeve
Audacia Ray
Tara Sawyer
Rusty Tanton
Viviane
Jennifer W
Elizabeth Wood

(If you’re wondering what the heck is Twitter, Match provided a link to a great explanation.)

And I’ll be posting pictures of what I eat at Waffle House, just to tease Jonno and Mr. Gimlet. ;-D

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