Blogging

(…) A better example of someone operating on her own terms it’s hard to imagine. Anonymous bloggers everywhere can read Belle’s story and take heart in the fact that it really is possible to be both successful and anonymous in the Internet age.

There’s just one problem: it isn’t.

Let’s give Belle and the Sunday Times the benefit of the doubt and assume that Magnanti really did approach them, and not the other way around. There’s no reason to doubt Magnanti’s version of events, but it’s worth remembering that the Sunday Times has a particularly grubby history when it comes to anonymous bloggers.

(…) But, despite the fact that the print version of Magnanti’s Times’ interview is illustrated with a photograph of her wearing glamourous evening-wear, let’s assume this was an entirely consensual encounter. Knight also mentions in the interview that Magnanti has an ‘ex-boyfriend with a big mouth’ and that she had decided to go public before the decision was forced on her. Again, let’s assume that the ex-boyfriend hadn’t already contacted the Sunday Times.

Even assuming all of that, the existence of the big-mouthed boyfriend neatly illustrates the biggest problem with becoming a successful anonymous blogger. As your hidden life takes over more and more of your normal life, there comes a point where you have to share your secret with someone you trust. Batman had Alfred the butler, Deep Throat had Bob Woodward and, as any child of the 80s will tell you, three people shared He Man’s secret – his friends the Sorceress, Man-at Arms, and Orko. In Belle’s case, there came a point in forming serious relationships where she had to confess her lucrative hobby to her lover. From that point on she was just one bad breakup away from being exposed.

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header sexual freedom Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy #16

This sex positive carnival highlights posts/articles promoting the sexual rights and freedom of women:

This theory of feminism is known more commonly as Sex Positive Feminism, a movement that developed in the 1980s in response to feminists against pornography and prostitution. Sex Positive Feminists (or sex-radical, pro-sex or sexually liberated feminists) believe that women’s sexual freedom is an essential part of women’s autonomy. Any legal or social control or regulation over the sexual self is an attempt to control and regulate women, undermines their freedom and infringes upon their human rights. We are interested in promoting sex workers’ rights, sex education in schools, and we encourage the free expression of sexualities.

Sex Positive Feminists recognise that not all women choose to work within the sex industry and some are grossly exploited, so it is crucial to understand that sex work must be done consensually. Otherwise, it represents another form of control. We understand too that the opposite of sex positive is not necessarily sex negative. For more information about Sex Positive Feminism, click here.

The previous Carnival was hosted at Sugarbutch Chronicles. The upcoming Carnival will be hosted by Ellie Lumpesse. Please visit the Carnival homepage if you’re interested in participating in future editions.

Thank you to everyone who submitted. And now, on to this month’s posts.

Better Burn That Dress Sister: This is our job so recognise our rights…….
The adoption of the mantle of self righteous indignation by prohibitionists when they speak disparately of sex workers rights is both disingenuous and dangerous. They encourage the enforcement of bad laws now and support the adoption of more bad law with the intention, they claim, of protecting the vulnerable. If prohibitionists were honest they would admit that the intention of this bad law that denies sex workers rights, has nothing to do with protecting women and children or in stopping trafficking. The purpose of the persecution now, as in the past, is both to eliminate our work and alienate us from society. New proposals to criminalise clients and further target brothels are just more of the same.

Border Thinking on Migration, Trafficking and Commercial Sex: Will a famous prostitute be allowed to rest alongside Calvin in Geneva?
Grisélidis Réal was known for decades as a prostitute, author and defender of sex work’s uses and skills. She died and was buried a few years ago but now either will or will not be honoured by having her remains moved to a Geneva cemetery where cultural icons like Calvin are buried. The story below illustrates how such honours are interpreted in opposing ways by different people.

Clarisse Thorn: BDSM Outreach: “There is no ’should’” and the sex-positive “agenda”
What’s my “agenda”? What does it mean to be a “pro-BDSM activist”? What’s the “sex-positive agenda”? Who is part of the “sex-positive movement”? These are all questions I’ve been thinking about a lot lately — and they seem to constantly recur around the blogosphere, in varying forms. But here’s a question that’s rarely posed explicitly, and it’s the one that preoccupies me the most: What action can I take in the real world to help create a powerful, energetic sex-positive — and pro-BDSM — movement?

A Femanist View: On Art and Porn
I think we should reject that line, and insist that Porn is Art (how come the two brothers have never been seen in the same room at exactly the same time as each other? *smirk* ). Porn performers and producers, pole dancers and lap dancers, even (willing) prostitutes – yes, all sex workers – are artists and deserve to be recognised for it. Their individual arts are different from one another, just as a sculptor’s art is different from a painter’s, is different from a musician’s, is different from a dancer’s.

Feminist Review: AIDS Sutra: Untold Stories From India
Negar Akhavi has masterfully edited multiple voices and rhetorical devices to show us how HIV and AIDS have affected Indian society. Half the contributors traverse the deep faultlines of misogyny, poverty, and religious hierarchy. The other half shows what it’s like in India in the time of AIDS to be faithful wives and daughters-in-law (and HIV-infected), poor and low-caste, overburdened healthcare workers, cast-off and orphaned, and non-heterosexual.

Franklin Veaux’s Journal: Some thoughts on tattoos, porn, and respect for women
The term ‘tramp stamp,’ as clever as it sounds (“Oooh! It rhymes! It must be true if it rhymes! If the glove don’t fit, the tramp stamp sits!” Or something) betrays what seems to me to be a very interesting idea about women. It’s a short, simple, 21st-century slang term that packages sixteenth-century ideas about sex and sexuality in a handy, bite-sized piece.

Kidsanity: 14 Kids, 8 Babies, 3 Fingers, 1 Parent: The Math Of Nadya Suleman
What I saw was an articulate young woman who managed to keep her own anger at bay, who seemed understanding and forgiving of people who do not accept her decision, and was composed yet passionate as she tactfully mentioned her beliefs about the sanctity of life. But it was her earliest statements, regarding other large families, which seemed to lie at the root of all of the hullabaloo.

Paper Cuts and Plastic: Why I like to fuck in public
It’s much more about the juxtaposition of the normal around me with what’s going on in my pants. The fact that I can hear or see other people going about their day while I’m in the throes of sex makes me really hot. The vast difference between what I’m feeling and what everyone around me is seeing makes the sensations seem even more exciting and intense.

Relationship Underarm Stick: Puppies, Kittens & Vampires, Oh My!
The ultimate pinnacle in Bad Boys are vampires and other supernatural creatures. Not only are they dangerous and misunderstood, the big strong Bad Boy arms we want to swoon into, but there is no larger a separation than between living and dead, making these men the most unobtainable of all.

Renegade Evolution: Feminism, Sex, BDSM & Other Sore Subjects
I do not say everyone would, or should, or could enjoy what I enjoy. I do not expect, demand, or encourage them to do so unless it is what they actually enjoy. I do however encourage women to speak to and about their own desires, and damn the condemnation that comes with it…because I do think that is important, and I do think that- the speaking- is feminist.

Sabrina in Stockings: So I’m a feminist – and a misogynist?
It’s one thing to rebel against being spoonfed a stereotype as an ideal. It’s another thing to have obvious disgust for your gender (and most of these offending women are primarily gendered female, even if they do sometimes feel male inside; or at least, they express their gender as female).

Tell It WOC Speak
Welcome everyone to what I hope will be the first of many blog carnivals dedicated to the voices of women of colour and our allies.  In every sphere of life women of colour are marginalized and exploited. Often, when we attempt to engage to change our circumstances we are silenced.  This carnival is our attempt to give voice to our shared issues.

. . .These days I don’t have a lot of interest in writing about sex at all. Part of my erotica apathy stems from the sense that I’ve written a lot about sex. I’ve described it. I’ve intellectualized it. I’ve made it funny. I’ve made it emo. I’ve done it in a train. I’ve done it with some pain. I’ve done it with a frown. I’ve done it with a clown. And I don’t know how much more I have to say about the sex. I am proud of my sex-writing. It’s damn good and it taught me a lot. It also has helped other people, or so all the emails I have received specifically about my deep-throating posts have led me to believe.

So there’s the feeling that I’ve done it to death. But there’s also the inescapable fact that I’m not fucking anyone right now, and while it would be nice to do so in the future, I’d like to fuck that person without the intellectual specter hanging over my bed and narrating what I’m doing and feeling. No one needs to imagine an apparitional Howard Cosell providing color commentary whilst one is going at it like rabid mongooses, not unless that fantasy would enhance one’s experience, in which case have at it. Plus there’s the fact that most humans don’t want their sexual experiences put into artful narratives and posted where the virtual world can see it. Sex with a human would be nice. Some day.

More. . . ..

Do you Tweet during sex? You might moan or squeal, but even if you’ve never heard of the free, minimalist social networking service that allows users to write, send and post to the Internet short messages via devices ranging from phones to laptops via SMS (text). This might sound like an “only in San Francisco” kink. Since Twitter.com started here, we may be able to hold them responsible for a new fetish. If there is such a thing. But really, you know that somewhere, someone is doing something sexual with it. It is technology, after all, and humans just can’t seem to resist sexualizing their tech toys.

So the thought of sending a message out to the Internet (the world) while having sex might seem a bit rude. Or, it might be a turn on. For some, it just sounds weird; on the verge of orgasm can you send a coherent text message? Now that sounds like something a cyber-dominatrix might have a field day with.

And it seems, they do. Sex and the Tweet isn’t a new idea, and it’s on the rise – perhaps even moreso as sex workers, international fetish models, dominatrixes, tech savvy porn stars, adult companies with marketing departments, hip porn directors, sex toy makers, and yes, even sex educators have created accounts and sporadically tell the world what’s on their mind (or other bits) in 140 characters or less. Not to mention all those other “normal” people who use the service, too. The normal people tend to be the dirtier ones, by the way – they’re just harder to find.

(More. . ..)

Intro To Sex Blogging

View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: sex security)

Here are my slides from Monday’s talk at Conversio Virium. I spent much more time talking about sexual privacy than about setup and promotion. Thanks again to Elizabeth and MayMay for the opportunity to speak. This presentation is available on the Blogging page.