how-to

Bend Over Boyfriend

by Domina Doll on 10/01/2024

in anal, education, movies

bend over boyfriend dvd Bend Over Boyfriend

Bend Over Boyfriend (1998)
Studio- Fatale Media
Director- Shar Rednour and Jackie Strano
Cast- Dr. Carol Queen, Robert Morgan, Laura Goodhue, Cupcake Jones, Greg Heiman, Troy, Miss Behavin’

Bend Over Boyfriend came out in 1998 and was the first and only instructional video of its kind to introduce anal pleasure for men, through strap-on sex with a female partner.  Although today the film seems a bit dated, compared to newer films of the same topic, like Tristan Taormino’s “Expert Guides”, at the time of its launch the film was groundbreaking and has remained one of the best-selling videos on this topic of all time.

While I have read some praise for the film, I have also read some criticism including that it is “too instructional”, “not erotic”, and that it has an “infomercial quality and the officious attention to every detail”.  This makes me wonder what people think an instructional film is.  I mean really.  I don’t expect instructional films about sex to be erotic, or to lack instruction.  I want them to teach me something in the simplest way possible.  I want the people presenting the topic—in this case Dr. Carol Queen and Robert Morgan—to be enthusiastic, knowledgeable and experienced, and to provide details, even if they are not always relevant to me.  I don’t necessarily want to be entertained or aroused by the content, or expect it to get an Academy Award.  I want to learn something new.  If I wanted to just watch people fuck, I’d rent a porno.

Now, I’ll admit that academics are often a bit dry.  After all, Carol Queen is not an actor, but an educator, although she does know and present her topic better than any actor could.  And, while she does recommend products at the end of the film and where to buy them (read: resources), I think it is certainly useful if the general public doesn’t have a clue about anal dildos or strap-ons, which was certainly the case back in 1998.  And, let’s remember that sex shops were not always as sex-positive or as helpful with knowledgeable staff as they are today.

I think Bend Over Boyfriend is a great film and it is easy to see why it has had such longevity.  Carol and Robert are passionate about their topic and very experienced.  They talk about anatomy, prostate pleasure and health, relaxation and massage, safe sex, arousal, gender-bending, and the best tools for anal stimulation (including mouth, tongue and fingers!).  After this ten minute intro, they show you enthusiastically how it is done (and while this is probably not erotic for the viewer, I bet it was for them).  The film also includes two other male/female couples that demonstrate different scenarios, variations of anal pleasure and sexual positions.  So Bend Over Boyfriend was an excellent guide when it first came out, and today I believe it still has information that is valuable to share, especially for couples seeking to explore anal sex for men and gender-bending for the first time.

Thank you to Babeland for this trip down memory lane.  Be sure to check out Bend Over Boyfriend and all the other excellent instructional films they have in their store as well as their Bend Over Boyfriend Strap-on Kit.

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Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus

by Domina Doll on 05/22/2024

in movies, oral sex, Tristan Taormino

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus (2006)
Director: Tristan Taormino
Studio: Vivid/Smart Ass Productions
Cast: Justine Joli, Ariel X, Kelly Kline, Richard Kline, Cindy Crawford, Jack Lawrence, Tristan Taormino (non-sex)

oralsexcover 713x1024 Tristan Taorminos Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus

Well-known sex writer, educator and anal expert, Tristan Taormino, has been directing adult educational films since her debut with “Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women” (Evil Angel, 1999).  Both her guides and her Chemistry Series (reality TV meets gonzo porn) have been very popular with critics.  In “Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus” she covers the art or oral sex for women, starring Justine Joli who demos a live workshop followed by two hetero couple scenes and a bonus scene with Justine and Ariel X.  This is categorically an instructional video and not porn that is meant to titillate, unlike Nina Hartley’s guides, which are a bit of both.

Scene 1: Workshop with Justine Joli, Ariel X, and workshop attendees

Tristan Taorminos Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus

Justine begins by educating her class on female sexual anatomy with the aid of a diagram and then on live model Ariel X.  The instruction is fairly basic, but if you didn’t know much about female genitalia, then you would definitely get something out of this.  I myself learned a new word: “fourchette” which is the skin where the inner lips meet at the bottom of the vulva.

Next, Justine demonstrates cunninglingus techniques and various positions with Ariel.  Justine has a very long and nimble tongue, so you can see clearly what she is doing and tell that she is definitely an expert at female oral sex.

Scene 2: Kelly and Richard Kline

Tristan Taorminos Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus

Kelly and Richard have been together since Kelly was sixteen.  Richard knows Kelly’s body well and is very aware of how she responds to different techniques both verbally and through her body language, which both of them say is key to pleasuring your partner.  I found the scene(s) a little bit long (it is cut up to show various positions) and it is shot from mainly the same angle with little variation (except for a few close-ups) which gets a bit tedious after a while.  This leaves the scene feeling a bit static and you don’t really experience much momentum building because of it.  Then again, it is meant to be instructional and not pornographic or artistic.  The good thing is that the menus will let you view various parts of the scene if you wish.  It does demonstrate the various positions very well and Tristan seems to be quite fond of Liberator Shapes.

Scene 3: Cindy Crawford and Jack Lawrence

Tristan Taorminos Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus

I enjoyed watching this scene quite a bit more as Cindy and Jack are fairly dynamic characters.  Jack begins by saying why he loves eating pussy and he is quite passionate about it.  His tip for dealing with cunninglingus fatigue: Eat more pussy!

Next, Cindy exits a bathtub and Jack shaves her pussy for her, which Tristan says (voice-over) can be quite erotic.  Tristan also talks about how some women feel uncomfortable about their genital odors, which she says can be cured by frequent bathing, especially just before the act of oral sex.  Although, this sounds like common sense, I’m glad Tristan brought it up, as many women do have that fear, so it is a good point to make.

Jack definitely knows his way around a pussy and takes his good old time getting to the sensitive bit, the clitoris.  This is one of his techniques as he allows for a build-up of tension and arousal, so when he finally does get there, Cindy is going crazy.  He sensually licks Cindy’s inner thighs and all around her mound, and then teases her occasionally by licking quickly over her pussy and clit.  When he finally goes for the kill, Cindy is possessed by passion.  He demonstrates the “ice cream” lick, a long vertical lick from the fourchette to the clitoral hood, and horizontal tongue flickering.  Justine says in the beginning workshop that many women prefer the horizontal flickering (side to side) more than the vertical licking, which is something I didn’t know.  I guess I have never really analyzed what types of licks I like when receiving oral sex as it all felt good, but I will make a point of testing this theory out now.  Another point that Tristan makes is that some women prefer one side of the clitoris over the other, which I have found to be true when I masturbate, and for me it is the 9 o’clock position.  I have also heard this from a girlfriend of mine who is a self-appointed expert at cunninglingus.  This scene is also a bit long, but there is more vibrant action, so doesn’t feel static and there seems to be much more variation in cutting from close-ups to long angles.  Jack ends by rimming Cindy which she says later drives her wild.

Bonus Scene: Justine Joli and Ariel X

Tristan Taorminos Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus

I am really glad they added this scene to show oral sex between two women making the film more diverse.  I think many guys become pretty good at giving girl head from lots of practice, but many women at more tentative or too enthusiastic with their techniques, because they don’t get as much practice.  At least I have found that is the case for me and my partner: Gladiator (which roughly translated means” Glad-he-ate-her) a nickname he has had since I met him.  I guess it goes without saying he is a confident pussy licker.

Again, Justine goes down on Ariel and does a fantastic job eating her out with that super-fantastic Gene Simmons’ tongue of hers.  They then reposition themselves for a 69 and the scene has lots of enthusiasm.

Extras: Playing with Toys & Safe Sex

Tristan adds two extras as described above which demos using toys with oral sex, and then safe sex which demos using dental dams, plastic wrap and making a tongue condom.  There are also trailers for Tristan’s other films including her “Expert Guide to Anal Sex”, “Chemistry”, and “Chemistry 2″, which I can’t wait to see.

Things that worked well:  Tristan uses voice over throughout the scenes to give a few tips that are being demoed which are very useful.  The music is mellow and unobtrusive.

Things that didn’t work well:  Tristan uses these “pop-ups”, kind of like pop-up video, which are a bit distracting and many times hard to read.  Although it is a cute and novel idea, I think her voice-overs are more effective.  Also, the audio quality is sometimes lacking in the segments, and some of the shooting is very static as I already expressed.

“Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus” is a superb film and excellent guide, especially for those who feel they lack certain skills.  I think anyone can learn something new watching this film and I know I did.  I definitely recommend this film to couples or anyone who wants to become a cunninglingus artist.  It is always great to watch Justine Joli as well because she rocks, bringing her all into every film she does.


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The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori

by Domina Doll on 02/25/2024

in bondage, book, Midori, shibari

The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori
Photography by Craig Morey
Publisher Greenery Press (2001)
175 pages, Softcover.

A few years ago (2005) I was lucky enough to take a bondage workshop with Midori: “Intro to Japanese and other Creative Rope Bondage Essentials” in Halifax at Venus Envy, one of the local sex shops.  It was one of two workshops I took with her and was an amazing experience.  Midori-only a small woman in stature-has a powerful and dynamic charisma; cool and collected with an authoritative presence that demands people sit back and take notice.

A friend of mine Kate volunteered to be Midori’s guinea-pig.  Kate is quite a bit taller than Midori, very butch and buff.  Although quite submissive, Kate plays mostly as a dominant as she doesn’t find too many Dom/mes who can handle her.  I was interested in seeing what Midori would do with her.

midori bondage The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori

First Midori stood before Kate and the audience dressed in a gorgeous sea foam and silver Asian-style dress, slowly unraveling a long piece of hemp rope and running it through her fingers as she stared Kate down.  The room was completely silent, except for a few uncomfortable giggles that were soon silenced by Midori’s schoolmarm stare, as Kate stood blushing profusely.  In “The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage“,  Midori explains this technique in detail in her “Analysis of a Scene”: “While effectively setting the tone and head space for the dominant, the visual effect of the top methodically stroking the ropes may be quite profound on the bottom…  Many different moods and attitudes might be presented… powerful and slightly intimidating… playful, humiliating…”  Of course, running the ropes through the hands at the beginning of the scene has many other practical uses as well such as untangling the rope, finding debris, and ridding the rope of its “bad habits.”

Next, Midori began to rub the rope over Kate’s body and head.  She held the rope up to Kate’s nose to allow her to smell it like an aromatic aphrodisiac.  Midori explains in her book the strong connection that many bottoms will make with the scent of the rope, associating it “with the sensual, sexual and magical experience of wonderful rope bondage scenes.”  This technique was obviously effective on Kate as she nearly swooned and leaned against Midori who took her weight.

Midori then made a rope blindfold to remove Kate’s sight and place her more into the scene, effectively blocking the audience from her view.  While Kate knew she was still on display, she quickly fell into the grove of Midori’s quick, clever hands working magic on her body.  Midori spun Kate around as she skillfully tied knots, moving the larger woman to her will, sometimes holding her a little off-balance, and then capturing her again within her strong embrace.  In her book, Midori says that the top should make the bottom move to their whim using “firm decisive moves, sometimes punctuated by a quick change in pace… to emphasize the emotional dominance and control the top has over the scene…”  She also calls this to tie with “gusto” where her rhythmic handiwork would suddenly change to a quick yank as she synched the knots which would rouse a sharp intake of breath and sigh from Kate.

Reading “The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage” was almost like being at Midori’s workshop once again, where rather than teaching the technical aspects of knot-work (Midori only showed us three knots), she demonstrates the dynamics of the scene itself.  In the book Midori talks about her personal history with rope bondage, the visual aesthetics of shibari including symmetry, tension, and balance, as well as introduces the reader to a brief history of Japanese bondage.  She covers safety elements and aftercare as well as explains the various types of rope and what they are best suited for.

The final section of the book shows seven classic positions with photographs by Craig Morey and simple diagrams, focusing on the techniques and knot-work.  Most of the techniques are fairly easy to follow, although some of them can get confusing, especially when a few illustrative steps are missed.  I would have preferred the images to be more step-by-step and photographed rather than line drawings.  As mentioned before, Midori doesn’t focus on difficult knots, but only shows a few basic ties, as she did in her workshop.  Her focus is not on technical skills but rather showing how bondage can be accomplished by a novice.  Any boy scout can learn to tie intricate knots and there are many books on that, but very few people can show effectively the dynamics of a scene like Midori can, that left my friend Kate a pile of wet, hot, quivering mush afterward.

If you haven’t had a chance to see one of Midori’s excellent bondage workshops I highly recommend this book.  It is a great introduction for beginners and I know many so-called “experts” in my BDSM community who would benefit from learning the dynamics of a scene as well.  For someone like me who has had the advantage of seeing Midori live, this book is a great reminder of all the techniques that are taught in her workshop (many that I had forgotten) and may inspire you to take up your rope again and begin practicing.

With the book that I received from Tabu Toys, I also got a length of Japanese Silk Love Rope (5 meters) to play with and practice my knots.  This rope comes in brilliant colors, is soft, yet strong and fairly easy to work with.  Together, “The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage” and the Japanese Silk Love Rope makes a great beginner’s rope kit to start playing with, and is also an excellent gift for your lover if you want to give them a subtle, yet effective hint.  You can purchase both items from Tabu Toys.

tabutoys The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori

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