film review

crash pad series 5

Crash Pad Series- Volume 5- The Revolving Door
Director- Shine Louise Houston
Studio- Blowfish Video/ Pink & White
Cast- August, Stacy Staxxx, Rex, Scarlett Chaos, Red, Cyd Loverboy, Kuma, Julie Warren, Shawn, Mickey Mod

Crash Pad Series, Volume 5: The Revolving Door is the kinkiest of the Crash Pad series so far and features lots of plays of dominance, submissive power struggles, switching and hardcore sex.  The cast consists of hot gender-fucking freaks, femmes-dykes, alt-queers, bois, butches, a trans-man and even a surprise ending between Crash Pad crush Shawn (Syd Blakovich) and a bio-guy.  With five scenes, various top/bottom scenarios, diverse body-types and looks, there is plenty of hot queer kinky porn for everyone.

Scene 1- August and Stacy Staxxx

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Its August’s birthday and Stacy Staxxx throws her a hot party, with herself as the gift.  Stacy is a stacked, hot, alt-nymphet and August is a cute alt-dyke, both with nice tats.  Stacy begins by dripping birthday candle wax on August, and then ties her wrists to the bed.  Stacy then fucks herself on August’s faux cock.  The pair switch positions and August takes control, binding Stacy wrists, and then fingering her.  They end with August fucking Stacy doggie-style until she whimpers and moans in orgasm. Sexy!

Scene 2- Rex and Scarlett Chaos

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Rex and Scarlett Chaos (aka Essin’ Em) meet up for some femme/dyke action.  Scarlett is bodacious and a Rex is very cute boi-dyke.  They make a good pair together and the scene has a lot of playful chemistry.  We start out with some spanking and some very passionate necking, and then Scarlett gets naughty and struggles a bit for dominance.  She’s what I call a SAM (smart-assed Masochist), who likes to be a saucy bottom.  But, Rex won’t have any of that and cuffs her to the bed post.  Rex uses a pinwheel on her, and then starts to finger her.  Scarlett pleads, “Please fuck me,” which Rex does hardcore and gives her a screaming orgasm that breaks the sound barrier. Scarlett reciprocates by giving Rex’s strap-on dick a wicked blowjob (something she does quite well).  Rex fucks her until she screams again, making for a hot, playful scene!

Scene 3- Red and Cyd Loverboy

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Red’s a hot alt-femme-boi with killer tits and tats, and Cyd’s a playful butch-boi.  Cyd is the obvious bottom but likes a good struggle.  It doesn’t take long for Red to put her in her place though as she slaps her face, makes her suck cock, degrades her and calls her pain-slut and faggot.  There’s some chest punching, ass spanking, bondage, gagging, and all around rough play.  However, the scene remains pretty playful.  Red ass fingers Cyd, and then fucks her.  Later Cyd eats Red out and fingers her until she comes.  Then Cyd gets fingered and bites her hand as she orgasms.  Great chemistry!

Scene 4- Kuma and Julie Warren

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Kuma and Julie appear to be a couple, or at least frequent play partners.  Kuma is a bald, bearded trans-guy leather daddy with lots of tattoos including a cool back piece.  Julie is a voluptuous bottom and Daddy’s good little girl. Kuma’s quite a loving sadist and amazingly skilled at percussion.  He wields two-fisted floggers on Julie’s back then her breasts.  Then it’s on to the nasty canes that leave nice red stripes on Julie’s thighs.  Julie then gets to suck Kumo’s cock for being “such a good girl” and is later fucked and fisted, until she asks permission to come.  Yes sir, thank you sir!

Scene 5- Shawn and Mickey Mod

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For many films I don’t like to read about them, or even read the covers before I watch them, as it takes away some of the freshness and element of surprise.  Well, I was surprised when I saw this obvious bio-guy sitting waiting on a bed waiting for someone to arrive.  And, who walks in?  Crash Pad boi-crush Shawn (aka Syd Blakovich).  I’m floored and wonder how this is going to play out.  Mickey immediately takes the bottom role and starts sucking Shawn’s cock.  So, I think maybe this scene has a chance.  Then Mickey fingers Shawn while she sucks his bio-dick, and they make-out all sweaty and hot, and finally Shawn squirts in Mickey’s face as he comes.  Pretty feverish scene, and like Shawn says during the credits “if someone’s attractive, they’re attractive, and gender isn’t something you see with your eyes anyway.”  So while I was surprised to see Shawn with a guy, the scene works and is definitely hot.

There wasn’t one scene in the film that didn’t interest or excite me in some way.  I loved all the kinky exploration and playful S/m.  All the scenes had a nice build-up of momentum and chemistry between the players.  I especially loved the diverse array of bodies and shifting genders.  I hope Houston keeps adding more queer kink, interesting characters and maybe adds in an orgy scene at the Crash Pad someday soon.

You can get Crash Pad 5 and other films from the Crash Pad Series at Blowfish.com where you can also view the trailer.

Tristan Taormino's Rough Sex

Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex (2009)
Studio: Vivid
Director: Tristan Taormino
Cast: Adrianna Nicole, Christian XXX, Daniel Wylde, Derrick Pierce, Francesca Le, Julius Ceazher, Marco Banderas, Marie Luv, Mark Davis, Sasha Grey, Satine Phoenix

Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex is brutally sexy!  It has a very cool and simple premise: five hot vixens dream up their best “rough sex” fantasies and get to live them out on camera with their most desired stud porn hunks.  The idea itself is a wet dream come true, and when these sassy (or submissive) sex kittens team up with guys who like to play rough, the sparks begin to fly.

If you are into naughty role playing and hardcore, rough sex, this film is for you. They don’t fool around and there is plenty of face slapping, humiliation, degradation, whacking and general “man”-handling action going down. The sex is pretty rough and the fantasies are fairly common role-play scenarios that many women have. There are three fem-submissive scenes about being forced or taken like Adrianna Nicole’s intruder alert, Marie Luv’s punishment and Satine Phoenix’s stranded damsel meets dominant stranger.  Then, there are the divas that turn the tables on their fuck obsessions such as Francesca Lee’s femdomme supremacy and Sasha Grey’s switch play.  Each scene features a prelude interview of the female cast member as she talks about what’s hot and what’s not, and why “rough sex” makes her wet.

Scene 1- Adrianna and Marco

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Adrianna longs for fantasy rape by an intruder who breaks into her apartment. Just as she gets out of the shower, Marco steals up behind her, grabs her, and then clasps a hand over her mouth warning her not to scream.  Adrianna’s eyes go wide with fear and this scene looks like it is going to be really hot.  He slaps her around a bit, chokes her, and then drags her into the bedroom like a dog on a leash.  After that, the scene kind-of looses it raw edge and the intensity in those first few seconds is really never captured again.  Sure, it’s rough, but there is something lacking, like my connection with the performers.  While they both seem genuine, I never really get into it and I find myself critiquing it rather than enjoying the scene for what it is.

Scene 2- Satine and Derrick

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Whoa!  This scene is perhaps the best in the film.  So fucking hot, it sizzles and the chemistry between Satine and Derrick is tangible. Not to mention that Derrick is to die for (bald, alt and tattooed, with a rock-hard body) and Satine is a sultry little minx. Satine’s fantasy is getting stranded on a lost desert road, where she meets a “kindly stranger” who offers to stay with her until someone comes for her vehicle.  The sun is hot, the sand is dusty, they are sweating and flirting, and then things turn a bit dangerous.  Derrick realizes no-one is coming for a while and he can have his way with her.  There is a lot of foreplay which becomes increasingly rougher as he realizes, hey, she likes it.  He starts pushing her around, groping her roughly, pulling her hair and smacking her face and tits and you can tell that Satine is getting so turned on and juicy before he ever starts fucking her.  I can’t tell you how many times I watched this scene and came.  Definitely jilling off material! Rough sex, lots of unique positions on the vintage jeep, and crowned by a choking messy forced blowjob.  These two rock the screen with a riveting performance.

TRISTAN TAORMINO'S ROUGH SEX

Scene 3 – Francesca and Christian

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Christian is a magnificent brute of a man (again bald and sexy) and Francesca is a hot busty milf.  She’s a bit fed up with her husband ignoring her all the time, being the perfect housewife and all, and thinks it’s time for a little pay-back. And, pay-back’s a BITCH in stilettos and corset, with a nasty attitude and the will to dominate her much larger opponent. I like my brutes dominant and my bitches submissive, so for me this scene didn’t hold a lot of sexual pizzazz.  Although, Christian is adorable and so submissive for such a big boy it was interesting seeing him dominated.  Still, all the while she was crushing her tits and ass in his face, slapping him around, and spitting cum in his mouth (yuk!), I was wishing he’d grab her and give her a few smacks of her own.  I guess for me there was a problem with the believability factor.  I just didn’t believe she could dominate him in real life, and didn’t like the way she shrieked orders at him and brutalized him, when he was being such a good boy.  Not that I don’t think that he can be dominated, as he seemed to like it.  She just came across as a bit shrill and lacked authenticity. Still, I’m sure this is a fantasy that would appeal to many women and men who would find it hot.

Scene 4 – Marie and Julius

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Marie wants to be punished for fucking around and treated like the slut she is.  The fantasy sounded great and I was all for it.  But, then the action starts happening, and there’s not much cussin’ and a fightin’ goin’ on here, and I’m like “Whoa, wait a minute?”  Why isn’t he calling her nasty names and treating her like a little tramp, whore, slut, which she obviously wants and deserves? Man, give me ten minutes with her and I’ll have her crying and begging for more.  Again, like the first scene there was no build-up, no sizzle, and it didn’t seem very rough to me, but maybe my finger pressed the fast forward button by mistake and I missed all the good stuff.  Nope. Don’t think so.  Weak scene, but too bad as it had potential.

Scene 5 – Sasha and Daniel

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Okay, did I say that scene 2 was the best scene?  Maybe I lied.  To tell the truth, this scene is so hot that it rivals scene 2, and they both win best scene in my book.  Smokin’ Sasha wants to play switch in a power play scenario and who does she pick?—my all-time favorite male porn star, Daniel.  Daniel is known for his rough play style in many alt porn films, as much as for his playfulness.  Sasha picked him because she thought he would let her slap him around, which he does and seems to like it too.  They talk about what they’d like to do and Sasha defines her only limit—No tit slapping.  So, the pair get it on and right from the beginning it’s a power struggle but Daniel takes over and does his nasty choking and slapping number on her.  The scene has a series of peaks as it continually builds momentum, switching back and forth, while they get lost in the passion of each moment.  And, then, Daniel forgets and slaps Sasha’s tits, immediately cringing like dog about to be punished.  Sasha pins him on the pool table and Daniel starts apologizing profusely, and then they are snickering and laughing and back into the hot rough sex play.  This scene was not only hot but so much fun.  You can tell they are both getting off on it and are enjoying the ambiguity of working together for the first time.

TRISTAN TAORMINO'S ROUGH SEX

Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex is overall a great porn if you like rough sex and some serious role-playing power exchange fantasies.  It is worth it just for scene 2 and 5 alone.  I applaud Tristan for giving the women in the film the chance to design their own scenarios and define what is rough and sexy to them.  The production quality is pretty good in most places although the sound was off a bit sometimes and some of the camera work looked a bit shaky.  The extras includes a Choking and Safety snippet with Penny Flame who teaches the proper way to choke to avoid injury which I thought was a very good idea, as no doubt a bunch of novices will see this film and want to start practicing without a clue.

Check out Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex at Babeland, where you can find many other films by Tristan and other cool women porn directors.

Viviane also posted the trailer to Rough Sex here.

the opening of misty beethoven

The Opening of Misty Beethoven (1976)
Studio- VCA / Crescent Films
Director- Henry Paris / Radley Metzger
Cast- Constance Money, Jamie Gillis, Jacqueline Beaudant, Terri Hall, Ras Kean, Gloria Leonard

“The Opening of Misty Beethoven” is a Pygmalion porn-story of a pathetic prostitute (Constance Money ) who is transformed into a New York “socialite”—or more accurately an elite passionate cocksucker—by “sex researcher” hedonist Dr. Love (Jamie Gillis).  If you have ever seen any of Jamie Gillis’ films he usually plays the part of a sexist (if loveable) pig quite well, and Misty Beethoven is no acceptation.  Many of his roles are in bdsm films featuring him as a cruel Top who like to humiliate and beat his subs, but he is often on the submissive end as well.

The film is seriously dated and like many 70s triple-X films features a pornocopia of orgies in lavish settings, hairy snatches, kitschy dialogue, dreadful acting, bad hair-dos and worse outfits.  Dr. Love teaches Misty how to suck cock like it’s her last meal, and there’s lots of other fucking as well as some girl-girl action.  In one scene Dr. Love tells Misty: “Most women stop sucking at orgasm, but that’s when a real woman starts sucking.”  The focus on the film is male pleasure and little is paid to want Misty (or a female audience for that matter) might want or enjoy.

Misty debuts as a fantastic pervert at a party orgy, where Dr. Love humiliates her in public by taking credit for her newly acquired skills.  Misty gets fed up with Love and splits, but then returns to surprise suck/fuck him as one of his maids.  Meanwhile, Love can’t forget about Misty and is perhaps wishing he had treated her better?  The end of the film shows Misty transformed into the “teacher” and Dr. Love as her slave in chains of bondage in an “ironic” twist.

If you are into retro porn, The Opening of Misty Beethoven is a classic, more so for its “porn with plot” than titillating sex scenes, though.

Buy The Opening of Misty Beethoven at Babeland where you will find many unique adult films.

ashley and kisha

Like Comstock’s other films, “Ashley and Kisha” showcases an intimate relationship between two lovers, whose story is tender and unique.  Ashley and Kisha are two young women who met in college and became lovers.  Ashley is an out-and-proud lesbian, while Kisha considered herself “straight” and not interested in women, until she met Ashley.  During their interview, the women talk about how Kisha initially rebuffed Ashley’s “animal instinct” advances until she tried more “subtler” methods, “easing her way in” to Kisha’s consciousness until Kisha could no longer resist.

The two are a study in contrasts:  Kisha is very conservative, soft and voluptuous; Ashley out-spoken, confident and rebellious with a lean, athletic body.   Ashley takes control in the bedroom, awakening Kisha’s body to a rediscovery of pleasure, a pleasure that only another woman can know.  Both women admit that sex together is the best they ever had.

ashley and kisha

Their story is sweet and amorous, their lovemaking playful, sensual and erotic.  “Ashley and Kisha” is delightful film about the rhapsody of young love between two women and their journey of new sexual discovery.

Ashley and Kisha: Finding The Right Fit (Real People, Real Life, Real Sex series)

This Aint Star Trek XXX (2009)
Studio: Hustler Video
Director: Axel Braun
Cast: Aurora Snow, Cheyne Collins, Codi Carmichael, Evan Stone, Jada Fire, Jenna Haze, Nick Manning, Sasha Grey, Tony DeSergio

this aint star trek xxx

TV parodies are the big thing these days in porn, with big companies producing retro porn TV show spoofs from the 70s and 80s like Happy Days, The Partridge Family, The Brady Bunch, Three’s Company, and Bewitched.  And, why not?  These porn spoofs are all the rage, because making fun of 70s and 80s pop culture is very amusing.

And, while I like all of the above, I must admit I am a die-hart Trekkie.  Ya, I love Captain Kirk and Spock (cool ears, I wonder what his cock looks like?) and all the groovy outfits and girls with big hair.  I’m not so weird like my brother and go to cons dressed up in character, although I admit I have been tempted.  But, I don’t think your measure of fan-hood needs to include dressing up in silly costumes in public.  I prefer to be a private cult devotee and masturbate to my fantasies.  In fact, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve masturbated to the idea of being gang-banged by the guys in Nex Gen…  But, that’s another story, and hopefully another porn spoof in the making.

In “This Aint Star Trek XXX” the crew has a mission “to boldly go where no cock has gone before.”  Sweet!  You can see right away how Star Trek was made to become a porn.  Unfortunately, they don’t seem to use all those nifty one-liners enough.  For instance, I’m sure something could have been done with “Bone’s boner” or “Spock’s cock”, but these and other opportunities never emerge.  Evan Stone hams it up quite a bit behind-the-scenes and if the director had of been paying attention, he should have added some of Stone’s adlibbed lines to the script.  Stone is the perfect Captain Kirk, to be sure and he even got his lovely locks shorn for the part, but I feel the direction was very “stiff” (and not in a good way) which held Stone and the other cast members back a lot.  The director, Axel Braun, seemed more concerned with getting the atmosphere and production quality right (which he does amazingly well) rather than the comedic aspects that could and should have been emphasized.  In all fairness, he didn’t write the script, and it is hard to write comedy.  Maybe they should have let Evan Stone write it?

sash grey and evan stone this aint star trek

And, while “This Aint Star Trek” was a let down in that way, it excelled in every other department.  The cast is stellar and the sex rocks.  Stone is amazing as Kirk and has Shatner’s abrupt stuttering swagger down.  I really hope Shatner gets a chance to check out his performance.  Tony DeSergio is a pretty good Spock, even with his British accent.  Jenna Haze is the perfect cock-devouring alien love slave, and Sasha Grey makes for a sexy Vulcan undergoing “pon farr”, the Vulcan equivalent of unrepressed sexual passion.  Jada Fire is the hottest Uhura in her three-way with Stone and DeSergio, perhaps the best scene in the film (or a close runner up with Sasha Grey and Stone’s scene).  Nick Manning plays Khan and over-acts quite a bit, but it was somewhat appropriate to the role, I guess.

jenna haze this aint star trek

This 2 set DVD also has “a blooper reel” and “behind-the-scenes” as well as three bonus scenes from other films featuring Sasha Grey, Jenna Haze and Aurora Snow.

Overall, I enjoyed “This Aint Star Trek” quite a bit and look forward to watching some of the other spoofs, like “Not The Bradys XXX” (review coming soon).  Although I was hoping for more comedy and silly dialogue, the sex was great, and I guess that is all you can ask for in mainstream porn these days.

Check out “This Aint Star Trek XXX” and other fun porn parodies at AdamEve.com, a great place to shop because they always throw in free DVDs and gifts with your purchase!