mistressmanual The Mistress Manual

“The Mistress Manual: A Good Girl’s Guide to Female Dominance” is an instruction handbook by Mistress Lorelei, published by Greenery Press. Its focus is on heterosexual female dominance, but much of the information can be adapted to other gender play scenarios. Written by Lorelei, an experienced lifestyle Dominatrix and feminist, it provides information to women “at all levels of the art”.

In Part One: Becoming a Mistress, Lorelei talks about how expressing one’s female dominance is liberating within the constraints of patriarchal culture, by transforming the power exchange and defying the prescribed gender roles. She also encourages women (and men) to embrace their “shadow selves”, the sides that are denied them in everyday life, but ones they can experience through fantasy. According to the author, the submissive is able to experience an emotional catharsis, by letting go and enjoying a sense of freedom.

Part Two: The Mistress in Action discusses practical ways to assert one’s dominance, the art of discipline and the skills one needs to become a successful Domme. Some of the tools the author examines includes using suspense (mystery and anticipation) and variation to create a compelling scene fantasy, creating a set, using costumes and props, choreographing a scene, punishment as a form of pleasure and release, as well as rewards and aftercare. She also provides plenty of information on various techniques including spanking and flagellation, bondage, humiliation and forms of control.

In Part Three: The Five Archetypal Fantasies, Lorelei introduces the main role playing models: Nursemaid, Governess, Queen, Amazon and Goddess and what part these play in fulfilling fantasies. The following chapters then go on to explain these roles in depth with examples and suggestions. The book also includes an afterword with “Ten Rules for a Successful Mistress” which is a visual summary of the lessons learned within.

The Mistress Manual has a wealth of information, much more than can be covered in a short review. It is well written, with an emphasis on the psychological as well as the physical aspects of D/s. It is an excellent read that has plenty to offer for both novices and seasoned pros.

The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl’s Guide to Female Dominance

is available on Amazon.com The Mistress Manual

If it were a bit warmer today, if high school graduates could read, if the New York subway system had hard plastic barriers up (that opened when the trains came) so that no one could jump or fall or be pushed on the tracks, if diet coke were good for you, if my maternal grandparents were still alive and healthy, if I weighed 15 pounds less, if Chai came directly out of one of my faucets, if there were no rats in Manhattan, if there were already a good health insurance system in effect in this country, if all the women who wanted to get pregnant could and all the women who didn’t want to be pregnant weren’t, if — if — if –

Well, let’s get to the point: if dating profiles were honest, well, hey, then where would the sport be in internet dating??

All the fun would go out of it.

Yeah, and dating profiles — or at least the profile of one man I dated recently — would read something like this:

If it’s a warm day when we meet, I’ll be wearing a t-shirt, and you’ll notice a bluish-purplish mark on the inside of my left wrist. What is it? you’ll wonder. Well, I was a heroin addict in my youth, and that’s what it comes from. You gotta problem with that? If so, go away.

More . . ..

Sugasm #162

by Viviane on 04/03/2024

in sugasm

gabriela Sugasm #162
Gabriela (errotica archives)

Photo: Gabriela (errotica archives)

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #163? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Justify My Love
“All I could think of was to have his arms around me so that they could make everything right.”

Tied Naked In A Field Of Grass
“Growing up on a farm has its advantages.”

On Machismo
“It’s very weird, this rigid interpretation of gender in America.”

Sugasm Editor
Sex Work And Compassion: The Angry Family

Editor’s Choice
Heat

BDSM & Fetish
brock’s Task
Golden Spike
Impish
Let’s try how it works
Playing Safe
Ritual
Roommate’s Revenge
Sleeping with Daddy

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Beneath Him
He Likes Me
In The Shadows
Jenniffer from AFF
Red Pajamas
Stripper Sex. Stripper Fuck. Stripper Fun
Three Views of a Nude
Watching Girls IV, Personal Invitation
Work Violation
You Ask Me

Sex Humor
Dancing dildo’s and other sundry details…

Sex News, Reviews, and Interviews
Mistress Kara Chains, a wicked toy, and my naughty behind
The Mistress Manual review
Pixazza + Adsense for Porn & Adultworld
A review on 32″ curved Walnut and Maple Cane by Wycked Synsations with Sera Miles.
Sex Toy Review: ShowerBabe
Think of Your Sex Toy Chest Like a Golf Bag
Top Five Tuesday – Sports Edition

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Bijou – All woman
Nicole Scherzinger Sexy Maxim Photoshoot
Within Temptation -HNT
Womanizer (in sign language)

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Admonishment Comes at a Heavy Price
Advertising: Sex, Commerce and Sexual Turn-Ons
Caveat, Qualifier, Disclaimer …
An Escort to Remember
HNT ~ Blood Makes Noise
Is Kink Oppressed? Is it Oppressed like ____?
Labels, identities, and asking

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

. . . The next day, I had some very weighty thoughts, but I was lightened by them. One of the things that struck me was that, apparently, it’s completely possible to have a give and take of control, just because he enjoyed taking, and I enjoyed giving. It was a simple symbiotic fulfillment experience with no messy emotions and promises wanted or offered. I saw for a brief moment that someone else could show me things about myself I had never seen. I learned that I can give up control and not be devoured or seek to destroy myself in the process. I discovered I can cum exactly as and exactly when instructed. I confirmed that a measure of structure and authority makes me more productive and joyful. And apparently, playing with my pussy can make me more creative and focused. I am very grateful to have shared this experience with Mr. Sevven, and most of all, for making me put the damn pitchfork away

More. . .

3 NYC Weekly Leather Dates: Apr 2 8

Maestro and Kristine on thetrainingofo.com

Thursday, April 2
The Baroness‘ Fetish Retinue www.Baroness.com

Friday, April 3
DSF: “The Master slave Playground” w/ Master Larry & slave barb
NYC Munch

Saturday, April 4
ClubFEM NYC Party
SWITCH One Year Anniversary Party

Sunday, April 5
LSM Member Safety and Orientation
MAsT Metro NY: “Performance Review and Feedback in Our Structures”
Kinky Jews 4th Annual Kinky Passover Seder
Book Launch Party for “Secret Identity: The Fetish Art Of Superman’s Co-Creator Joe Shuster”

Monday, April 6

Tuesday, April 7
TES: “Tight Immobilizing Bondage” w/ Jay Wiseman

Wednesday, April 8
TES Novice Group: “Play Piercing & Skin Stapling 101″ w/ Slutress
GMSMA: Better Homes & Dungeons

form6 splash Form 6 by Jimmyjane

I have had the pleasure to review many luxury vibrators from various companies, but this is my first time reviewing a Jimmyjane vibrator.  I have used Jimmyjane’s Afterglow Massage Candles [my review] and fell in love with them.  So I was very curious to see what they would do with a vibrator.  After all, Jimmyjane is a “design centric brand that believes sexy is smart, and the pleasure is in the details”.

Introducing the new Form 6 vibrating massager from Jimmyjane, Generation 2.  The new Form 6 is a redesigned so that it is one of the only rechargeable vibrators that is completely waterproof and submersible up to 1 meter.  Most rechargeable vibrators have a plug-in hole at the end of the vibe to allow it to plug-in to the recharger.  Form 6 is different.  It is cordless and features a metal band around the “neck” of the vibrator that allows it to lay upon the recharger where it connects with two tiny metal prongs which activates the charger.  Because of this, the Form 6 is able to have a sealed chassis so no water can get inside and destroy the vibrator.  The sealed body is also virtually soundproof as well, so even on the highest speed, this vibe will not wake your roommates.  The enclosed charging case also is a convenient storage and travel case that is discreet and will keep your Form 6 clean and safe.

form6 charger Form 6 by Jimmyjane

Another interesting design element with the Form 6 is that it has dual digitally-controlled motors on either end of the vibrator, allowing either end to be used.  The smaller curved end is perfect for both clitoral and G-spot stimulation, while the larger, thicker end works well as a fully insertable vibrator.  Both ends feature six vibration modes from mild vibration, to oscillation, to throbbing pulses.

The controls on the Form 6 are fairly simple, yet sophisticated featuring (.) (~) (o) symbol controls that are inline with the wand. Pressing the smaller (.) with increase the power level on the smaller curved head, where as pressing the larger (o) will increase the power level on the larger head.  The (~) symbol is pressed to cycle through the six different vibration modes.  It also features a fail-safe lock, so it will not turn on automatically by just touching it randomly, and you need to hold any button for 2 seconds to activate the vibrations.  These buttons also light up, which is nifty if you are using it in a dark bedroom at night.  Once fully charged, the Form 6 runs approximately 2 hours on maximum power.

The vibrator itself is coated with medical-grade silicone with a smooth matte finish, over a firm curved body.  It feels lush against the skin and the smooth organic contours mold perfectly to the body.  I preferred using the smaller, curved end as the power was ideal for clitoral stimulation that lead to a very satisfying orgasm.  When used internally as a G-spot toy, this vibrator rocks.  The curved head is perfectly formed to reach the G-spot easily and the thicker wand-shaped handle allows you to comfortably hold the vibrator and rock it up and down for maximum G-spot stimulation.  I have said this time and again in my reviews, that the G-spot requires firm thrusting stimulation, which the Form 6 is immaculately designed for.

Now some of you may shudder at the $185 price tag that this luxury vibrator has.  However, I believe that the quality design, sophisticated vibrations, rechargeable aspect and durability of this vibrator is worth it.  Hell, I think I’m worth it!  Besides, the Form 6 also comes with a one year warranty, and in the world of sex toys what you pay is what you get.  So I would much rather have a quality vibrator that I will use again and again for years of pleasurable orgasms, than something I might use once a throw away.  The Form 6 is an elegantly designed seriously sexy vibrator that is a must have for savvy sex toy connoisseurs.  Once you own a vibrator from Jimmyjane, you won’t need anything else!

jimmyjane Form 6 by Jimmyjane

I have been waiting for this building for the past 4 years. I stayed at The Standard in L.A. years ago and wondered why wasn’t there one in New York City? I cheered when I heard that there was finally going to be one built. I delighted when I learned it was going to be built over the High Line. When I first saw the renderings, I may have gotten a little wet.

My first thought was, “I have to have sex in that building.”

I’ve realized that place has become something of a fetish for me. Some people like feet, some people like food, some people like corsets and stockings. I like having sex in architecturally significant buildings.

More . . .

21 Find Lolita – April 2009 and beyond

Madison Young and Le Rock on meninpain.com

April 9-12 – Atlanta, GA
Frolicon: teaching How to Play With Needles, Stuff Yer Hole, Sensory Deprivation and Fantasy Role Play

May 10 – Washington, DC
Whole DC: teaching TBA

June 20 – NYC
Leather Pride Night: coordinating volunteer

June 24-29 – Northern MD
Leather Retreat: teaching classes TBA

July 2-5 – Piscataway, NJ
TES Fest: coordinating the Celebrity Auction and teaching TBA

July 17-19 – Denver, CO
Thunder In The Mountains: teaching Decorative Bloodsports, The Dynamics of Co-Topping and Metal Bondage.

October 23-25 – Chicago, IL
Kinky Kollege : teaching Kidz Rule and CBT in a Nutshell

Found via Art or Porn.

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #21? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #23? Submit it here before Sunday April 5th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

  • $20 Babeland GC or Quickie Kit! Deadline: Tuesday, March 31st
  • Blush Contest Deadline: April 1st by midnight EST.
  • Whoops! Win an Onye Deadline: April 2, 11:59 pm.
  • Win the toy I rave about Deadline: Friday, April 10th.
  • Pleasurists Contest: LELO Toy Giveaway! Deadline: Friday April 10th at 11:59pm PST.
  • CrashPadSeries.com Contest! Deadline: April 22, 2009.
  • Do You Have an Erotic Adventure to Share? Deadline: May 31st, 2009.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St.Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

  • Delight by Scarlet Lotus
  • Onye by Carnivalesq
  • Tantus Elements by Marla Singer
  • Flower Power by Erin Leone
  • LELO Lily by Sexorcism
  • Liv by Marla Singer
  • We-Vibe by Sexorcism
  • SinFive ilo by Sleeping Dreamer
  • Natural Contours’ Jolie by Sarah
  • LELO Liv by Beautiful Dreamer
  • Fukuoku 9000 by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
  • Laya Spot Carnivalesq
  • LELO Liv by Nadia West
  • Jasmine by Emotional Bliss by Sleeping Dreamer
  • Layaspot by Essin’ Em
  • Mary Mermaid by Domina Doll on Viviane’s Sex Carnival
  • LELO Gigi by Thursday’s Child
  • Aphrodite Massager by Domina Doll

Dildos

  • Pink Lemonade by Marla Singer
  • Don Wands glass bubble wand dildo by Eliot Bodem
  • Taffy Tickler by Thursday’s Child
  • Sugar Drop by CarrieAnn
  • Lemon Drops Glass Dildo by Epiphora

Anal Toys

  • Tantus Little Flirt by Sleeping Dreamer
  • Njoy Pure Plug by Wilhelmina Wang
  • Sinfive Alterno Beads by Sleeping Dreamer
  • Little Flirt by Kyle

Toys for Cocks

  • Monkey Spanker by Epiphora

Lube/Massage Oil/Bath Stuff

  • Intimate Organics Hydra Lubricant by Scarlet Lotus
  • Pjur Med Clean Spray, Pjur Anal Comfort Spray, and Pjur Back Door Anal Glide lube by Sexorcism
  • Shunga Body Slide by Sleeping Dreamer
  • Stimula for Women by Sexorcism

Sex Kits

  • Ovation Intimacy Kit by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

BDSM/Fetish

  • Beginner Ball Gag by Tantus by Jezebelle

Adult Books/Games

Adult Movies/Porn

  • Buck’s Fantasies by The Porn Librarian
  • Desperately Sleazy Susan by J.D. Bauchery
  • Porns Most Outrageous Outtakes #2 by FrzKey
  • Brief Encounters by The Porn Librarian
  • Beauty and the Butch by J.D. Bauchery

Storage

  • Devine Pink Croco Satchel by CarrieAnn

Miscellaneous

  • Liberator Ramp by Scarlet Lotus
  • Liberator Stage by Beautiful Dreamer
  • LELO Luna Beads by Sleeping Dreamer
  • Penetrating Mini Clit Pump by Sommer Marsden
  • Luna Beads by Marla Singer
  • Bondage Betty Lingerie by Nadia West
  • Ellie Shoes Platform Boots by Luna Orignaux
  • Edible Pasties by Carnivalesq
  • LELO Luna Beads by Dangerous Lilly

banner Pleasurists #22

pleasure salon Pleasure Salon NYC: Celebrating 2 Years!

When:      Wednesday, April 1, 6:00PM
Location:  Happy Ending, 302 Broome St. NYC (pink awning says “Xie He Health”)
Cost:  FREE
Please RSVP: http://tinyurl.com/c4mlpa
Celebrating two years of building New York City’s Pleasure Positive Community!

Wednesday, April 1st at Happy Ending Lounge. We’re there the first Wednesday of every month.

The Pleasure Salon has been created to build community, allowing sex-positive activists to cross-pollinate. Our gatherings bring together members of the BDSM, swinger, alternative gender, LGBT, sex-activist, sex educator, nudist, sex-magic, polyamory, Pagan, radical faerie, tantra, dark odyssey, sex-blogger, porn, pervert and sex-worker communities, and others whose passion is sex. (Let us know if we missed any one of you!) Through building networks in the sex-positive community, The Pleasure Salon hopes to help create a sex-positive world. It is a place for the open exchange of ideas and sensual expression.

We have been thrilled by the turnout at previous events. Join us in building New York’s pleasure positive community, and bring your like-minded friends to this social gathering. The Pleasure Salon embraces respect, acceptance, and non-judgmental support in this public space.

Movie: American Swing

by Viviane on 03/31/2024

in swinging

American Swing is a documentary about the rise and fall of the 1970s sex club,  Plato’s Retreat. I always talked about going, but was never went (too chicken!).  I can’t seem to find the trailer, but here’s a video clip from New York magazine .  In NY, it’s playing at the Quad Cinema.

Jenya

by Viviane on 03/31/2024

in galleries

jenya Jenya

Full gallery

How to Be a Dominant Diva
by Georgia Payne and Julie Taylor

dominantdiva How to Be a Dominant Diva

Ok, so who doesn’t want to be a Dominant Diva once in a while?  Even if you are submissive by nature, or like your partner to be the one in control, sometimes it is thrilling, fun, and empowering to switch the power exchange and bring a bit of unexpected excitement into a relationship.  This is what “How to Be a Dominant Diva” is all about.

This book is tremendously different than what I was expecting.  First, I thought by the title that it was a book that focused on D/s play.  And, while there is some spanking, bondage and blindfolding scenarios in the book, it is marketed towards vanilla heterosexual couples.  Second, I thought it might be one of those lame books that gives you stupid ideas and quotes on every page, like: “Tonight, try a blindfold!” or “Flavored lubes are a great way to spice up oral sex!”  But, this book is actually way deeper and more interesting than that.

First of all, the book is written by two fairly qualified Divas.  Julie Taylor is a writer for Cosmopolitan and Glamour and “has written over 100 sex and relationship features for major magazines”.  Georgia Payne is “one of America’s most prominent dominatrixes with a large clientele in both Los Angeles and New York.”  Both these women are long time friends and have put their ideas and experience together in creating this book, with 69 sexy scenarios you can use with your partner to add a bit of spontaneity and exhilaration into an otherwise “ordinary” love life.

I was actually impressed with the thought put into creating these erotic adventures, such as “Naughty Nurse,” “Treasure Hunt,” “Driving Miss Diva,” “Naked Sushi,” “Abduction Seduction,” and “Caught and Cuffed.”  Each scenario has a front page, then a pull out action plan to guide you through each encounter, detailing the props you will need to carry out your seductive quest.  The following is an excerpt from the book, courtesy of DominantDiva.com “Meet me at Halftime”.

meet me at halftime2 How to Be a Dominant Diva

There are a lot of inspiring ideas that will certainly give some fuel to your fire and get your partner’s motor running as well.  Each adventure uses the element of suspense and surprise to entice and seduce, which are techniques that many of us forget in our day-to-day lives.  Many are played out like games or scavengers hunts, in which your lover wins sex as the prize.  These sexual explorations are not just simple rolls in the hay but ideas that will turn each exploit into a sizzling “sexperience” and night to remember.

This book is a great activity book for those seeking ways to add more pleasure and excitement to their love life.  It’s a keeper and will give you lots of food for fodder to create your own unique sexcapades as well.

You can buy “How to Be a Dominant Diva” at Tabu Toys

and while there get some great sex toys to let the games begin!

tabutoys1 How to Be a Dominant Diva

alphabetsoupflyer Tonight: Alphabet Soup: Serving up Solidarity!

Date: Thursday, March 26, 2009
Time: 07:00 PM to 12:00 AM
Where: Dtox
Address: 31 2nd Ave, Between 1st and 2nd St.
Cost: FREE
Dress code: Come as you are… no judgments, no labels, no rules!

Alphabet Soup… Serving up Solidarity!

Come join us the Fourth Thursday of Every Month for a Sex-Positive Social Gathering for the Entire Alternative Community!

Uniting the LGBTPQ, FABGLITTER, and other sex-positive communities, Alphabet Soup serves up solidarity! Queer or straight, trans or cisgendered, kinky or vanilla, poly or mono, or anything in between… come be among friends!

Alphabet Soup is for ALL kinksters and sex-positive folk to gather regardless of gender, sexual orientation, relationship paradigms, lifestyle preferences, etc.

This event is free.

Buy One, Get One Free Drink Specials until 10p

Stay for the Drag Show after Midnight!

Spread the Word!

Please join the Evite Guest List