This Aint Star Trek XXX (2009)
Studio: Hustler Video
Director: Axel Braun
Cast: Aurora Snow, Cheyne Collins, Codi Carmichael, Evan Stone, Jada Fire, Jenna Haze, Nick Manning, Sasha Grey, Tony DeSergio
TV parodies are the big thing these days in porn, with big companies producing retro porn TV show spoofs from the 70s and 80s like Happy Days, The Partridge Family, The Brady Bunch, Three’s Company, and Bewitched. And, why not? These porn spoofs are all the rage, because making fun of 70s and 80s pop culture is very amusing.
And, while I like all of the above, I must admit I am a die-hart Trekkie. Ya, I love Captain Kirk and Spock (cool ears, I wonder what his cock looks like?) and all the groovy outfits and girls with big hair. I’m not so weird like my brother and go to cons dressed up in character, although I admit I have been tempted. But, I don’t think your measure of fan-hood needs to include dressing up in silly costumes in public. I prefer to be a private cult devotee and masturbate to my fantasies.  In fact, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve masturbated to the idea of being gang-banged by the guys in Nex Gen… But, that’s another story, and hopefully another porn spoof in the making.
In “This Aint Star Trek XXX†the crew has a mission “to boldly go where no cock has gone before.â€Â Sweet! You can see right away how Star Trek was made to become a porn. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to use all those nifty one-liners enough. For instance, I’m sure something could have been done with “Bone’s boner†or “Spock’s cockâ€, but these and other opportunities never emerge. Evan Stone hams it up quite a bit behind-the-scenes and if the director had of been paying attention, he should have added some of Stone’s adlibbed lines to the script. Stone is the perfect Captain Kirk, to be sure and he even got his lovely locks shorn for the part, but I feel the direction was very “stiff†(and not in a good way) which held Stone and the other cast members back a lot. The director, Axel Braun, seemed more concerned with getting the atmosphere and production quality right (which he does amazingly well) rather than the comedic aspects that could and should have been emphasized. In all fairness, he didn’t write the script, and it is hard to write comedy. Maybe they should have let Evan Stone write it?
And, while “This Aint Star Trek†was a let down in that way, it excelled in every other department. The cast is stellar and the sex rocks. Stone is amazing as Kirk and has Shatner’s abrupt stuttering swagger down. I really hope Shatner gets a chance to check out his performance. Tony DeSergio is a pretty good Spock, even with his British accent. Jenna Haze is the perfect cock-devouring alien love slave, and Sasha Grey makes for a sexy Vulcan undergoing “pon farrâ€, the Vulcan equivalent of unrepressed sexual passion. Jada Fire is the hottest Uhura in her three-way with Stone and DeSergio, perhaps the best scene in the film (or a close runner up with Sasha Grey and Stone’s scene). Nick Manning plays Khan and over-acts quite a bit, but it was somewhat appropriate to the role, I guess.
This 2 set DVD also has “a blooper reel†and “behind-the-scenes†as well as three bonus scenes from other films featuring Sasha Grey, Jenna Haze and Aurora Snow.
Overall, I enjoyed “This Aint Star Trek†quite a bit and look forward to watching some of the other spoofs, like “Not The Bradys XXX†(review coming soon). Although I was hoping for more comedy and silly dialogue, the sex was great, and I guess that is all you can ask for in mainstream porn these days.
Check out “This Aint Star Trek XXX†and other fun porn parodies at AdamEve.com, a great place to shop because they always throw in free DVDs and gifts with your purchase!
