Tristan Taormino

openingup Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

“Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships” by Tristan Taormino is an enlightening and thought-provoking book that explores the diverse aspects of nonmonogamous relationships from solo polyamory, to partnered nonmonogamy, to triangles and groups.  The book features a wealth of information from stats to brief histories of polyamory in the U.S., as well as Taormino’s own research on the subject where she interviewed over 100 people living in open relationships over the past ten years.

The Guide begins by relating the history of polyamory, as well as breaking the myths of monogamy and traditional relationships, why you might want to choose a nonmonogamous lifestyle and what makes nonmonogamy work.  Section 2 looks at the many styles or models of nonmonogamous relationships and Section 3 talks about creating and sustaining relationships.  There is also a resource guide at the end which lists books, organizations and websites for further information.

Throughout the book Taormino uses checklists and practical advice for the reader which she says can be used like a roadmap to navigate your own way through the different styles and create your own model based on you and your partner(s) needs, desires, and unique situation(s).  Like any emotional or sexual relationship, polyamorous relationships have unique problems, potential issues and conflicts that arise that are common to open relationships.  Taormino deals with each of these giving practical advice and coping strategies including: jealousy, fear of abandonment, time management, negotiating boundaries, violating agreements, new desire, coping with change, safer sex as well as legal issues.

The highlight of the book is the real life experiences Taormino uses with quotes, stories and advice from a diverse group of people who share their desires, fears, challenges, solutions, successes and failures with the reader to provide meaningful context.  This book is really a thoughtful and comprehensive guide on open relationships of all kinds, leaving no stone unturned.  Enlightening, inspirational, and practical, this book is for anyone interested in or already living in responsible nonmonogamous relationships.

You can purchase “Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships” by Tristan Taormino at Babeland.


 Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus (2006)
Director: Tristan Taormino
Studio: Vivid/Smart Ass Productions
Cast: Justine Joli, Ariel X, Kelly Kline, Richard Kline, Cindy Crawford, Jack Lawrence, Tristan Taormino (non-sex)

oralsexcover 713x1024 Tristan Taorminos Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus

Well-known sex writer, educator and anal expert, Tristan Taormino, has been directing adult educational films since her debut with “Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women” (Evil Angel, 1999).  Both her guides and her Chemistry Series (reality TV meets gonzo porn) have been very popular with critics.  In “Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus” she covers the art or oral sex for women, starring Justine Joli who demos a live workshop followed by two hetero couple scenes and a bonus scene with Justine and Ariel X.  This is categorically an instructional video and not porn that is meant to titillate, unlike Nina Hartley’s guides, which are a bit of both.

Scene 1: Workshop with Justine Joli, Ariel X, and workshop attendees

 Tristan Taorminos Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus

Justine begins by educating her class on female sexual anatomy with the aid of a diagram and then on live model Ariel X.  The instruction is fairly basic, but if you didn’t know much about female genitalia, then you would definitely get something out of this.  I myself learned a new word: “fourchette” which is the skin where the inner lips meet at the bottom of the vulva.

Next, Justine demonstrates cunninglingus techniques and various positions with Ariel.  Justine has a very long and nimble tongue, so you can see clearly what she is doing and tell that she is definitely an expert at female oral sex.

Scene 2: Kelly and Richard Kline

 Tristan Taorminos Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus

Kelly and Richard have been together since Kelly was sixteen.  Richard knows Kelly’s body well and is very aware of how she responds to different techniques both verbally and through her body language, which both of them say is key to pleasuring your partner.  I found the scene(s) a little bit long (it is cut up to show various positions) and it is shot from mainly the same angle with little variation (except for a few close-ups) which gets a bit tedious after a while.  This leaves the scene feeling a bit static and you don’t really experience much momentum building because of it.  Then again, it is meant to be instructional and not pornographic or artistic.  The good thing is that the menus will let you view various parts of the scene if you wish.  It does demonstrate the various positions very well and Tristan seems to be quite fond of Liberator Shapes.

Scene 3: Cindy Crawford and Jack Lawrence

 Tristan Taorminos Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus

I enjoyed watching this scene quite a bit more as Cindy and Jack are fairly dynamic characters.  Jack begins by saying why he loves eating pussy and he is quite passionate about it.  His tip for dealing with cunninglingus fatigue: Eat more pussy!

Next, Cindy exits a bathtub and Jack shaves her pussy for her, which Tristan says (voice-over) can be quite erotic.  Tristan also talks about how some women feel uncomfortable about their genital odors, which she says can be cured by frequent bathing, especially just before the act of oral sex.  Although, this sounds like common sense, I’m glad Tristan brought it up, as many women do have that fear, so it is a good point to make.

Jack definitely knows his way around a pussy and takes his good old time getting to the sensitive bit, the clitoris.  This is one of his techniques as he allows for a build-up of tension and arousal, so when he finally does get there, Cindy is going crazy.  He sensually licks Cindy’s inner thighs and all around her mound, and then teases her occasionally by licking quickly over her pussy and clit.  When he finally goes for the kill, Cindy is possessed by passion.  He demonstrates the “ice cream” lick, a long vertical lick from the fourchette to the clitoral hood, and horizontal tongue flickering.  Justine says in the beginning workshop that many women prefer the horizontal flickering (side to side) more than the vertical licking, which is something I didn’t know.  I guess I have never really analyzed what types of licks I like when receiving oral sex as it all felt good, but I will make a point of testing this theory out now.  Another point that Tristan makes is that some women prefer one side of the clitoris over the other, which I have found to be true when I masturbate, and for me it is the 9 o’clock position.  I have also heard this from a girlfriend of mine who is a self-appointed expert at cunninglingus.  This scene is also a bit long, but there is more vibrant action, so doesn’t feel static and there seems to be much more variation in cutting from close-ups to long angles.  Jack ends by rimming Cindy which she says later drives her wild.

Bonus Scene: Justine Joli and Ariel X

 Tristan Taorminos Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus

I am really glad they added this scene to show oral sex between two women making the film more diverse.  I think many guys become pretty good at giving girl head from lots of practice, but many women at more tentative or too enthusiastic with their techniques, because they don’t get as much practice.  At least I have found that is the case for me and my partner: Gladiator (which roughly translated means” Glad-he-ate-her) a nickname he has had since I met him.  I guess it goes without saying he is a confident pussy licker.

Again, Justine goes down on Ariel and does a fantastic job eating her out with that super-fantastic Gene Simmons’ tongue of hers.  They then reposition themselves for a 69 and the scene has lots of enthusiasm.

Extras: Playing with Toys & Safe Sex

Tristan adds two extras as described above which demos using toys with oral sex, and then safe sex which demos using dental dams, plastic wrap and making a tongue condom.  There are also trailers for Tristan’s other films including her “Expert Guide to Anal Sex”, “Chemistry”, and “Chemistry 2″, which I can’t wait to see.

Things that worked well:  Tristan uses voice over throughout the scenes to give a few tips that are being demoed which are very useful.  The music is mellow and unobtrusive.

Things that didn’t work well:  Tristan uses these “pop-ups”, kind of like pop-up video, which are a bit distracting and many times hard to read.  Although it is a cute and novel idea, I think her voice-overs are more effective.  Also, the audio quality is sometimes lacking in the segments, and some of the shooting is very static as I already expressed.

“Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus” is a superb film and excellent guide, especially for those who feel they lack certain skills.  I think anyone can learn something new watching this film and I know I did.  I definitely recommend this film to couples or anyone who wants to become a cunninglingus artist.  It is always great to watch Justine Joli as well because she rocks, bringing her all into every film she does.


babeland 468x60 Tristan Taorminos Expert Guide to Oral Sex #1: Cunnilingus

Every year at kinky sex camp, we create a multi-room erotic play-space for attendees, and for one night, each room has a theme. We like to keep things fresh, so we change up the themes every couple of years, but one never seems to go out of style: the Brothel. It’s a modest space with eight stations, each with a bed, a little table, and a flimsy curtain separating it from the next bed, plus a back room with a double bed and a little more privacy (which costs more, natch). We have our own currency at the event (kundalini kash), which campers can win, earn, borrow, and eventually spend. There’s a madam who recruits and organizes the whores, collects kash, matches clients with workers, and generally oversees the place. It’s always the busiest room.

People don’t tire of the sex-for-money fantasy. Actually, there is no one fantasy, but multiple scenarios, dynamics, and roles possible within the brothel setting. I talked to a bunch of this year’s whores (who included men, women, transfolk, and cross-dressers) about what they got out of their experiences. Some said they like being a whore because it’s taboo, naughty, and transgressive; the fact that it’s illegal prevents them from pursuing it in real life.

more. . .

 Tristan Taormino Laid Off At Village Voice (Gawker)

Tristan Taormino

Tristan Taormino, the “Pucker Up” sex columnist who has been with the Village Voice for nine years, was laid off on Friday, she confirmed to Gawker today. Voice editor Tony Ortega told her she was a victim of budget cuts.

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tristan Happy birthday Tristan Taormino!

Happy birthday, Tristan! xxxooo