by Caitlin Flanagan
THE movie “Juno†is a fairy tale about a pregnant teenager who decides to have her baby, place it for adoption and then get on with her life. For the most part, the tone of the movie is comedic and jolly, but there is a moment when Juno tells her father about her condition, and he shakes his head in disappointment and says, “I thought you were the kind of girl who knew when to say when.â€
Female viewers flinch when he says it, because his words lay bare the bitterly unfair truth of sexuality: female desire can bring with it a form of punishment no man can begin to imagine, and so it is one appetite women and girls must always regard with caution. Because Juno let her guard down and had a single sexual experience with a sweet, well-intentioned boy, she alone is left with this ordeal of sorrow and public shame.
In the movie, the moment passes. Juno finds a yuppie couple eager for a baby, and when the woman tries to entice her with the promise of an open adoption, the girl shakes her head adamantly: “Can’t we just kick it old school? I could just put the baby in a basket and send it your way. You know, like Moses in the reeds.â€
It’s a hilarious moment, and the sentiment turns out to be genuine. The final scene of the movie shows Juno and her boyfriend returned to their carefree adolescence, the baby — safely in the hands of his rapturous and responsible new mother — all but forgotten. Because I’m old enough now that teenage movie characters evoke a primarily maternal response in me (my question during the film wasn’t “What would I do in that situation?†but “What would I do if my daughter were in that situation?â€), the last scene brought tears to my eyes. To see a young daughter, faced with the terrible fact of a pregnancy, unscathed by it and completely her old self again was magical.
And that’s why “Juno†is a fairy tale. As any woman who has ever chosen (or been forced) to kick it old school can tell you, surrendering a baby whom you will never know comes with a steep and lifelong cost. Nor is an abortion psychologically or physically simple. It is an invasive and frightening procedure, and for some adolescent girls it constitutes part of their first gynecological exam. I know grown women who’ve wept bitterly after abortions, no matter how sound their decisions were. How much harder are these procedures for girls, whose moral and emotional universe is just taking shape?
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Apparently some Hampton Roads, Virginia parents are not too thrilled with their high school age kids penning a sex section of the school newspaper:
…Several said they were especially offended by a photograph of two women kissing under the headline, “Why men love women who love women,” a quiz question about anal sex, and an interview with an unnamed custodian who said he had found a vibrator in the girls’ shower.
“Those articles offended me personally as a parent,” said Venus Merrill, a school board member. “It’s not something you want to read with your 10-year-old and it’s not something that should be going home.”
Principal Randy Zito said the Winnachronicle had crossed the line of responsible reporting and that he had dealt with the problem privately. He also said he had pulled copies of the paper that normally would have been sent to middle schools in the cooperative school district.
The newspaper’s faculty adviser defended the editors’ decisions and said the February edition of the paper was intended to inform students, not shock people, although they knew it would stir controversy.
“The kids wrote the articles and came up with the topic,” said adviser Carol Downer. “They didn’t go out to cause controversy, but the Winnachronicle is also not a P.R. piece for the high school. This is a place for students to express their view and talk about issues that are troubling the student body.”
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Nearly one in four teens communicated hourly with his or her partner by cell phone or text messaging between midnight and 5 a.m., according to a survey conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, a research organization specializing in research on teens and young adults.
Shaina Weisbrot, now a sophomore at Rutgers University, says as a teenager she was in a controlling relationship that eventually turned violent. She recalls staying on the phone until 5 a.m. some nights, arguing with her boyfriend. “I’d be in my room. I’d pretend to be sleeping. I’d shut the lights and I’d be quiet, and no one would know the difference because all you had to do was hide your cell phone.”
About one in three teens surveyed who have been in a relationship said their partner had text messaged them 10, 20 and up to 30 times per hour to find out where they are, what they’re doing, or who they’re with.
Dr. Jill Murray, a psychologist who specializes in teen relationship violence, says that kind of questioning goes beyond casual conversation and amounts to controlling behavior. “The technology sets up the opportunity for constant stalking, for constant communication, for constant intimidation and threatening behavior, ” Murray said at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. “So we’re seeing an increase in teen dating abuse and I believe that this is a good part of it.”
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Kate Haigh, 18, a high school senior in St. Paul, recalls attending her first meeting at the school’s Gay-Straight Alliance club when she was in the ninth grade. “I said, ‘My name is Kate, and I’m a lesbian.’ It was so liberating. I felt like something huge had been lifted off my shoulders, and finally I had people to talk to.”
Zach Lundin, 16, has brought boyfriends to several dances at his high school in suburban Seattle.
Vance Smith wanted to start a club to support gay students at his rural Colorado school but says administrators balked. At age 15, Vance contacted a New York advocacy group that sent school officials a letter about students’ legal rights. Now 17, Smith has his club.
Gay teenagers are “coming out” earlier than ever, and many feel better about themselves than earlier generations of gays, youth leaders and researchers say. The change is happening in the wake of opinion polls that show growing acceptance of gays, more supportive adults and positive gay role models in popular media.
“In my generation, you definitely didn’t come out in high school. You had to move away from home to be gay,” says Kevin Jennings, 43, executive director of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, a national group that promotes a positive school climate for gay children. “Now so many are out while they’re still at home. They’re more vocal than we were.”
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