If it were a bit warmer today, if high school graduates could read, if the New York subway system had hard plastic barriers up (that opened when the trains came) so that no one could jump or fall or be pushed on the tracks, if diet coke were good for you, if my maternal grandparents were still alive and healthy, if I weighed 15 pounds less, if Chai came directly out of one of my faucets, if there were no rats in Manhattan, if there were already a good health insurance system in effect in this country, if all the women who wanted to get pregnant could and all the women who didn’t want to be pregnant weren’t, if — if — if –
Well, let’s get to the point: if dating profiles were honest, well, hey, then where would the sport be in internet dating??
All the fun would go out of it.
Yeah, and dating profiles — or at least the profile of one man I dated recently — would read something like this:
If it’s a warm day when we meet, I’ll be wearing a t-shirt, and you’ll notice a bluish-purplish mark on the inside of my left wrist. What is it? you’ll wonder. Well, I was a heroin addict in my youth, and that’s what it comes from. You gotta problem with that? If so, go away.
More . . ..
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