Woman Always Really Excited To Be In Whatever Relationship Status She’s Currently In (The Onion)
Sep 16th, 2025 by Viviane
KINGSPORT, TN—Just six months after claiming she was ecstatic about moving in with her boyfriend, and a mere eight weeks after announcing that she “couldn’t be happier” with their decision to take a brief time apart, administrative assistant Ann Castlen, 26, told friends Monday that she was absolutely thrilled to be single.
“Free at last!” Castlen said, nearly a year to the day after she informed several coworkers that she was emotionally ready to settle down and have children. “It’s like this giant weight has been lifted off me and I can finally breathe. I’m just going to enjoy this time alone and do all those things I was dying to do when I was bogged down with [ex-boyfriend] Brandon [Weiter].”
Link
Tags: dating, humor