Six Days of Grinding (Tristan Taormino)
Oct 12th, 2025 by Viviane
I just got back from sex camp and I am worn out. “Sex camp” is the nickname of an annual six-day retreat I co-produce that brings together people interested in gender, sexuality, BDSM, relationships, and spirituality. Running the camp is not as fun or as sexy as it sounds. Sure, I was surrounded by fun and sex, but I didn’t get to have any of it.
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Creating a sex-positive space and community is one of the most challenging things I have ever tried to accomplish. There is the minutia of an open-admission policy (How does one filter out the creepy guys from the mix?) and balancing the population (Why is it so hard to recruit gay guys to come?). More significant are the meta questions the process raises. Could such a diverse group of people agree on basic, fundamental tenets, and more importantly, honor and practice them? Is there a way for one place to both welcome newcomers and challenge veterans? What can leatherfolk, swingers, and Pagans learn from one another? Can a mixed-gender, mixed-orientation space be truly safe and positive for everyone?
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