Chaste Home, Alabama, Where You Can’t Buy a Dildo
Oct 5th, 2025 by Jefferson
Oh, Alabama. What has been done to thee?
The U.S. Supreme Court refused Monday to have anything to do with the infamous Williams v. Alabama case, which has been wending its way through the court system for nine years. In that case, adult retailer Sherri Williams challenged the constitutionality of a state law banning the sale and distribution of any device intended for the purpose of stimulating the human genitals. This week a federal judge is expected to lift the injunction that has prevented the law from being enforced since 1998.
The law was originally intended to shut down certain adult establishments, like strip clubs, so that children wouldn’t have to walk past them on the way to malt shops and sock hops. The sex-toy thing got thrown in so minors wouldn’t be exposed to adult retail shops either, and that’s the part that got national attention. No one outside the local community cares if a strip club gets shut down; start telling women they can’t buy vibrators, and the angry murmurs begin.
The law has to specify human genitals, by the way, in order not to infringe on the semen extraction business among breeders of livestock and performance animals. Otherwise, those stallions and bulls will be pretty damn upset when cold and unfriendly plastic tubes replace their warm, soft collection devices. Considering that a pissed-off stallion can take a grizzly bear, I can see why lawmakers didn’t put horsemen in that kind of position.
It’s easy to scoff. We can roll our eyes at those weird Southern states and joke that you can marry your teenage sister but not buy a Fleshlight to tide you over until she gets older. But in all the laughter, we risk missing the implications, such as: 1) Women are too fragile to be trusted in retail stores that sell products designed to promote sexual response and pleasure. 2) Parents are not to be trusted to keep their underage kids out of such stores. 3) Business owners cannot be relied upon to follow the rules about covering up windows to prevent passersby from seeing anything that might offend them.
If that’s not the message of this law, what is?
(more . . . )
This will be a boon for Alabama doctors.
http://www.slate.com/id/2175308/