Gallery Carre
The best of ‘The Best of Craigslist’
Mar 1st, 2025 by Viviane
About ‘The Best of Craigslist’
- Postings are nominated by craigslist readers, and are not necessarily endorsed by craigslist staff.
- Postings may be explicitly sexual, scatalogical, offensive, graphic, tasteless, and/or not funny
No more sex. Please. (s.f. bayarea)
“When I first saw your vagina I was so excited to see all my favorite traits in one package. Now the faint smell and taste that I once loved permeate every tissue on my body. I can’t get the smell off my face (I’ll probably have to shave off my goatee), and the now nauseating taste seems to come from my own sweat or something.
I will forgive you one transgression though because you obviously were unaware, but in the future remember that immediately after a man comes, it is exactly the wrong time to torture him by latching yourself to him like a freaking 5-point safety belt and grinding hard against his incredibly sensitive penis. It’s not funny, I tried to throw you off, but if you’ve ever been in a straight-jacket ….”
10 Reasons to Date a Lesbian (san diego)
“1. I don’t hate men. This is because, unlike most straight women, I don’t have an ex-boyfriend or an ex-husband who has cheated or otherwise done me wrong. Instead, the men I’ve chosen to spend time with have always been my friends. We’ve drunk beer together, gone camping, and talked about girls. I only have good things to say about the guys I know.”
Tips for Using Craigslist to Overcome Post-Break-up Depression (vancouver)
“1. Post daily missives, alternating between maudlin, yet not entirely hopeless, pleas for reunion in Missed Connections, and scathing, wrathful inditements of the other person’s character on Rants and Raves when plaintive Missed Connections posts are ignored. If your daily Craigslist ritual seems to be further deepening the chasm of your agony, create a list of tips for others who may also be struggling with the demons of misguided internet therapy.”
You Might Be Fucking My Roommate, but… (milwaukee)
“Fucking in our common areas. The only reason I know this shit goes on is because I’ve found the condom wrappers in very odd locations. There’s nothing I can do about this, but it creeps me out to think about where either your or her ass has been. If I knew you were both clean and conscious individuals, this might be an area of negotiation, but I know her habits. I’ve seen glimpses into yours. Do what you want in the shower. Otherwise, stay in her room, I beg you.”
Vasectomy: $400. Speechless look on her face: priceless. (seattle-tacoma.)
“Four months into dating, I get the “I’m pregnant” talk. She’s going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married “for the baby”. She’s positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she’s gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.
At this point, I’m just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse “oops” on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can’t think beyond their own uteri.”
Nice finds! I adore craigslist; both the dregs of society and its hidden geniuses seem to find their way to the personals.
The vasectomy story is brilliant.