Do you have one of those relationship dealbreaker lists? You know, the list that describes the qualities you have to have in a man, along with the qualities you simply won’t tolerate?
If you’ve taken the time to write such a list, I’m impressed!
Now put it away.
Then, being as honest as you can be with yourself, make two brand new lists:
- The “Good Qualities I Bring to a Relationship†list
And…
- The “Not-So-Good Qualities I Bring to a Relationship†list
Why these two lists? Let me give you an example from my own life.
During a bad fight with a man years ago, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror. I was more upset at the person I saw in that mirror than I was at the person across the room, hurling putdowns at me.
In the moment, I knew that being with this man would continue to bring out my worst qualities. In fact, with him, I was turning into someone I really didn’t want to be. And knowing that — even more than recognizing what a mean son of a bitch he was — made it impossible for me to stay in the relationship. (more…)
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