…I can tell you that where I am now is a much better place to be than where I came from. It’s a journey that gives me hope for the future, because I know I am just one of many who has opened my heart through online community.

I grew up in a small, conservative town in rural northern California where the saloons are outnumbered only by the churches. Our high school was just about evenly divided between whites and Hispanics, and so homogenous that if you said “the black girl” or “the gay guy” or “the Jewish boy,” everyone knew exactly who you meant.

My mom is a recovering Catholic; both of my parents are nondenominational Christians. I don’t remember much talk about sex, although they always answered any questions we asked. I certainly don’t recall much discussion about sexual pleasure or sexuality other than monogamy and marriage.

I encountered explicit sex in novels and read how-to manuals in the library. But despite book knowledge of various physical acts, my concepts of sex and relationships fell squarely in the binary bins I wrote about in my last column. (more…)